Favors, Child-Proofing and the Need for My Little Pony Therapy

Today was rough. Effie went with Dad to the clinic for a couple immunizations and a blood draw. The appointment went surprisingly well with just moderate tears at the time of injection and puncture but all was cleared away by stickers and dum-dums.

Nap time was not fun. 40 minutes total and lots of screaming. It's sad to know that your child is tired and probably hurting (sore from DTap). I know because I got my own Tetanus shot before we left for China and that sucker hurt for like 3 weeks.

So, knowing that, I suspected that the hours leading up to dinner would be torturous, but I was wrong. We got in some good quality time as the Three Musketeers. Effie, Jack and Mommy all made homemade Chicken Noodle Soup. It took nearly an hour and both kids sat up in the kitchen and watched my every move and listened carefully to each explanation. Adding pinches of ingredients themselves, they were thrilled to participate. Of course, there was snacking along the way to keep them interested. Very THINLY sliced apples, a Cheerio or two. They even got to test out the noodle to let me know when they were just beyond al dente. Little boy tells me daily that when he grows up he'll be a famous cook and he'll make me "Cheesy Noodles" then he'll bring them to me and say, "Here's your Cheesy Noodles Mommy!" I say, "Whoa! You're going to be an amazing Chef!" He had a blast.

There was one little glitch in this scene. Hopefully my description can help to explain the pure anger I was feeling at the situation. Lately, we've been awarding point to Jack for things he's already expected to do, but we give points for doing them without whining and without help, such as brushing teeth, getting dressed, feeding the dog, going poop (this one is worth a lot of points) and many others that are starting to make our lives a whole lot easier. He has been doing extremely well. So, with that in mind, tonight while I had two pots a bubblin' on the stove top and Effie up in her highchair watching me cook, I asked Jack to do me a simple favor. I gave him a small pile of 2 hand towels and 2 washcloths. I asked him if he would please take them up to the kids' bathroom upstairs and lay them on the counter next to the sink. He happily agreed, anticipating some bonus points for doing a favor for his Mom. No sooner had he reached the top of the stairs did I hear, "....um Mommy?..... Um...... the..... well, a couple..... some of the little towels...but not all of them..... uh.... Mommy?!

"Yes Jack, do you need help?"

"Um, Mommy, I dropped 2 of the towels, but not all of them into the toilet."

Well, let me tell you, the toilet is not near enough the counter next to the sink that the towels may have accidentally fallen into the toilet. This was an open shut case of Jack NOT LISTENING. I then tell him to just leave EVERYTHING right where it is and I'd go up later and fix it. I know how he fixes things. So, I call him back downstairs. It takes forever. I count to 3 (I rarely have to do that) and he barely makes it back downstairs in time.

It's then that I notice he is no longer wearing his socks. When I ask him where they are he replies, "They were wet, so I had to take them off."

Okay, so now I'm curious. I pull Effie out of the highchair and run upstairs with her in my arms. The scene looks like a crime was committed and I'll tell you right now, the crime was 3 year old boy NOT LISTENING. Wet toilet paper strewn on the floor around the base of the toilet. The two clean hand towels on the bottom of a pile of soaking wet washcloths, some of which were from the basket of clean washcloths we keep on the toilet tank, two red (very wet) socks and puddles of water all about. UGHHHH!!!! And so...... 5 minute time out, a talk about listening very carefully and following directions.

We cooked, we dished it up, said prayers and ate like kings (and queens) and then the kids had their COOKIES. It all went wonderfully. When Effie was cleaned up, I got her down from the highchair and stood her on the floor. I made the sign for WASH HANDS which we found is a necessary part of her OCD after meals or snacks. She bursts into a FULL ON FIT! No details needed but there was screaming, hopping, spit, snot and tears. It went on and on.

It was still going when Andy got home. Eventually when it stopped, the only reasonable option was a bath. (think SNOTTY hair and spit sticky arms). After the bath, Effie was all smiles, laughing and dancing. It could have been the tylenol, but my guess is MOMMY and EFFIE time with no one around to steal her thunder.

I've often hear people talk about baby-proofing their houses, in fact our social worker asked us if we had done any during our first Post Placement visit. To be quite honest, there is absolutely no need for baby proofing. This child will not leave the 5 foot radius of my feet, for all the tea in China (and yes that pun was totally intended) Her attachment issues are our 100% baby-proofing plan.

After the bath and the renewal of attitude by both Mother and Child, I was in need of some My Little Pony Therapy. I brushed the manes and tails of each of those beauties at least a half dozen times. Effie was content to play with her shape sorter. She's made progress today. We started at about 0 for 5 and now she's able to get at least 2 shapes in the correct spot on the first try each round. That's progress. It sure makes a different when you actually look at the shapes to see which ones might fit...... I taught her that. So, I guess today was not a total failure. I may have even had a little bit of fun with my kids. (Shhhh.... don't tell anyone)

The Evolution of Lights Out

So, as most and I guess likely all of you who read our blog have noticed, we have not updated really at all since we've arrived home. First, it was jet-lag meets MAJOR TRANSITION plus 3 year old spoiled by his favorite people for two weeks meets reality. Our original only child met our "While We Were in China" only child and neither was willing to become a sibling too quickly. I'm just going to sum it up with these words; screaming, whining and tantrums... Then there were the kids and their behaviors. :)

Needless to say, almost 3 weeks later we're doing much better. In a previous post, I mentioned what an amazingly obedient sleeper our son has been. He typically goes right to bed with only minimal stalling and NEVER gets out of his bed during the night. None of the, "Mom, I need a drink." that his Dad was so famous for as a child. This child is unbelievable, really. Sleeps soundly from 9PM to 8AM. (later if we let him) and naps for usually 3 hours in the afternoon.

Coming home from China where Effie was sleeping with us in our King sized bed was definitely a wake up call (can't decide if I intended that pun, but I did think about it ahead of time, so then yes, pun intended).

The first 3 nights I slept in her room with her on a mattress next to her crib. She woke at about 3 AM each night and screamed off and on for about an hour. She'd fall back asleep around 4:30 and sleep til 6:00. Then she'd sleep about 3 hours in the afternoon for a nap. Well, we soon discovered that just like a newborn baby she had her days and nights mixed up. Day four she was allowed to sleep 1 hour for her nap in the afternoon and that made the difference. From that point on one of us would just lie down on the mattress beside her at nap time and bed time and then get up and leave when she was asleep. She was sleeping thru the night by day 5 and the family was a whole lot happier in the morning.

Next step. After almost 1 week of lying down with her at night and naps and waiting for her to get to sleep, then listening thru the monitor from the comfort of our SLEEP NUMBER BED, we realized it was time to keep progressing forward. But, what was the next step?  Distance.  I moved the mattress to the other side of her room behind her little dolly play area. At this distance, in the dim light of her monitor night light (oh, yeah, we also blacked out her windows with the eclipse curtains) I was barely visible. Now, she had to listen to my voice to be calmed and reassured. She knew I was in the room, but still there was some resistance the first few nights of this.

Here we are at nearly 3 weeks and we've hit a point of progression again. The last few nights and naps have been spent fairly peacefully with Effie in her crib, calming herself, no tears, just questioning "Ugh? Ugh?s" to which we reply, "I'm right in the hall Effie. Goodnight little girl and sweet dreams."

That's right, we are putting her down in her crib without crying, she is drifting off to sleep without fits or tantrums and we are walking out of the room leaving the door cracked behind us just an inch or two, sitting in the hallway until the questioning Ugh?s stop, she's settled in and sleeping. Then, we gently pull her door closed and see her again to greet her in the morning at 7:30AM or so. AND IT'S WORKING!!!! Next step is closing the door a crack and working on my computer or helping Jack to bed upstairs while she falls asleep on her own. Regardless, Andy and I had a vision. We worked together to make it happen. We never expected we'd live thru it, but we did and I think that this time around we are more of a team.

I have so much more to write about, but you'll all just have to wait. Thanks for hanging around when we've been absent. We hope to catch up with you all really soon!

Tonight's progress in Bedtime. That's Effie's Door, barely cracked.

We made it!

Can't waste precious sleep and snuggle time blogging just yet, but I wanted to post a few pictures and let everyone know we made it home just fine. More in depth stories to come.

Where do I begin?!

We've been going non-stop since we got on the plane a little over a week ago in Kansas City. Now, I have pages of hand written journal entries, memories etched in my mind forever, a mass of photos and all I feel is utter joy. I cannot remember much of the last few days but her smile, tears, and mannerisms. What a wonderfully chaotic experience it's been. I know that all you all really want to see is the photos. I am sleeping until about 4:30 AM now which is quite an accomplishment. I imagine I'll be fully adjusted right about the time we get on that 14 hour flight back to the US. Thanks to all who have been following and waiting patiently. I have accomplished what I have set out to do in this trip. #1- Hold our daughter in our arms and #2 be totally and completely present in every single second of the experience. And all the rest, matters not!