So today, as I think about the return of my husband from what will be his last long trip before we leave for China I can't help but get a twinge of anxiety. Selfish anxiety, like, "14 hour plane trip, yikes, will I live thru it?" like, "what in the world am I going to eat in China?" like, "how can I feel calm about leaving our child at home when we are literally half way across the world for 2 weeks." like, "I've never spent longer that 2 days and maybe 50 miles away from him" 'Nother big breath.
But here's the deal; WE'RE GOING.
The last few weeks I've spent scanning timelines on adoption blogs, watching You Tube videos of Gotcha Days (or what my husband warmly refers to as Adoption Porn), asking all kinds of questions on my Yahoo groups about current timelines and I've come to this conclusion. By my calculations, averages based on mean, median and mode, we'll be traveling either the 2nd or 9th of August.
Now please don't jam up my comments with talk about how "Adoption Porn" is a wildly inappropriate term. You all know that you are just as guilty as the next person. All we want to see are those beautiful babies and their Mommy's and Daddy's crazy, snotty, bawling their eyes out face, kids kicking and screaming and the whole chaotic mess of that perfect moment. About 80% of the time I'm crying my eyes out too. All alone in my computer room, Bawling! All the while with a giant smile on my face repeating every little coo and comment Mom or Dad makes. Adoption porn is not a You Tube activity that leads you into watching clips like "Sleep Running Dog wakes up and smacks the wall" No ma'am, there are days and days of this stuff and when you finish watching, well, up pops another. Like, if you liked "Joanna and Bob Crying their eyes out in Guangzhou", you'll love, "Tim and Leesa losing it in Jiangxi" Millions of them!
Yet, I digress. My biggest boost of hope was this discovery today:
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| We will be holding our little girl in our arms before my milk expires! |
I'll post more later, gotta get back to YouTube! ;)
Oh I get it! I totally get it!!! What you're feeling, doing and experiencing is oh so normal. These days are all consuming as you wait excitedly to hold your sweet Effie Maxine!!
ReplyDeleteUntil I held my daughter for the first time I didn't understand why parents would find it so difficult to leave their older child(ren) home. Ahhh...now I get it! My amazing DD has been home from China for over 2 1/2 years and I haven't allowed us to spend even one night apart. Praying for you as you prepare to leave your son with those that love and will take great care of him. Mommy though...it's tough on mommy!
Praying you'll know your travel dates soon and be one step closer to your little love. Until then, enjoy those YouTube videos! They're the best and soon we'll be sniffling and snorting at your video.
Heh...I laughed at your milk comment! I remember doing the exact same thing while grocery shopping. (I was not wise enough to wait until I got home!) Right there in the grocery store I had tears spring to my eyes realizing before the milk expired Hannah would be in my arms.
Looking forward to following your journey!
Catherine (via RQ)
PS - CONGRATULATIONS!!!
This cracked me up...adoption porn...ha! Feel free to come by my blog and click on our video on my sidebar if you need a fix. :)
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your newbie and on traveling soon! Yahoo!!!
I thought overthinking was my thing too, then I realized, it's over talking! When I'm nervous, happy, excited, fearful, and darn near every other emotion, chatter nonstop. And thanks for stopping by, your gotcha video is perfect! Don' feel hurt but I only whimpered. It was a different type of gotcha than I've ever seen. She was so peaceful and happy. She must have just know right from the start who you guys were and how much and deeply you love her. Lucky Momma, Daddy and Family!
DeleteAdoption Porn... that is a good one... I was the same... even watching my You Tube video over and over... I still start crying :) Been back from China for 2.5 yrs and still watch the videos... crying :)
ReplyDeleteThing is, everyone does it, not many talk about it, i'll be happy to provide tears to my fellow adoptive parents no matter where they are in the journey! Thanks for stipping by, it sure means a lot. :)
DeleteCongratulations!!!! Your post made me laugh!! I loved your comment about the milk! I too just received my referral and keep looking at things around my house, thinking "this will be the last package of toilet paper/laundry soap/shampoo whatever I buy before I am a family of two!" I thought I was the only crazy one!
ReplyDeleteMaybe Crazy is good! Just crazy in love, crazy happy crazy impatient! Congratulations on your referral when do you think you may travel? We've been trying some practice packing. It may be a bigger challenge to us than the wait. ;) thanks for stopping by, Best wishes to you and blessing during your travel.
DeleteHa. Echoing the comments above but I totally get the wanting to watch videos....trying to play it out in my head how it will "go down" for us....and now, I want to run downstairs to see when my milk expires!! We are currently waiting on our TA. I was nice and calm....until about a week ago...We have been told we will be in China end of July - early August....yeah well....COME ON! :) I am tired of waiting! We waited 5 1/2 years for a referral and I am ready to go! :) I think I will need to check on your blog often in the coming days.....just so I know I am not the only one feeling this way! Congratulations on your new little one! Safe travels....and now I must go check the milk!
ReplyDeleteOh and.....I know how you feel about leaving the one child behind (we have a 4 year old)....and the food thing, I am taking LOTS of protein bars - and a jar of peanut butter which we took when we went to Kazakhstan to adopt our son - though they tried to take it off me in the airport but tears go along way....and ours - same kind too - expires on August 5th....but man did I just confuse my husband as I yelled, "But the milk expires on the 5th of August......"
ReplyDeleteGuess you guys will be leaving the 2nd then. ;) I'll have to come over and visit you? Got any videos or plans for one? I'm posting right now on activities for little boy while we're gone and music downloads. Thanks for stopping by and maybe we'll see you over there! How exciting. Keep me posted on your TA!
DeleteBwahahaha!! Yup! We have been home with our daugther for two years now (SN program) and are waiting for our second referral over the next two weeks. I STILL watch those videos obsessively!!! :)
ReplyDeleteAlso, had to laugh at the milk -- we took the same picture when we were waiting to travel to meet our daughter.
Congratulations!!
Congrats! Such an exciting time for you guys! I'm going to try to do a post on making the most tear jerking video and the elements that are important. Any suggestions for songs on the playlist?
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